Matchmaker Naraku
by Kalli
Summary: (AU) The story of Naraku, the president of a small dating company, and how he, along with his crazy co-workers, Sango and Miroku, try their hands at match-making the couple that just don't want to be matched.


Hello, Kalli here! This is my 2nd Inuyasha fic, but before I get started, a few notes (skip em' if u want):  
  
I can't take full credit for this story. Someone else gave me the idea for it, I just decided to take the idea and put it into a story form. We were talking about Naraku, and they said 'Well, actually, if you think about it, you should thank him, because if it weren't for him, Kagome and Inuyasha wouldn't have met, and neither would any of the others. So, in a way, he's actually kind of a matchmaker.'  
  
So, that's where the idea for this story came from. Thanks to Inu for the idea!  
  
Key:  
  
"..."- speaking  
  
'...'- Thoughts  
  
*...*- Actions  
  
CAP- yelling/ emphasis on a word  
  
~~~ - Scene change  
  
#$.....#$- P.O.V. change  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, it's characters, plot, etc. I'm just borrowing the characters for this story! ^^  
  
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. Matchmaker Naraku  
  
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. Prologue  
  
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With a rather large sigh, the man threw a thick folder on his desk and plopped down in his chair behind the desk.  
  
"Alright, Sango, what's your complaint about Miroku THIS time?"  
  
The said woman, Sango Taijiya, sat in front of him with an angry, red face and clenched fists. "He groped me for the FIFTH time this week!"  
  
He simply raised an eyebrow. "What a shock. I thought it was the 6th."  
  
Sango suddenly threw her arms in the air. "I'VE LOST COUNT AT THIS POINT!!!! THAT-THAT- THAT WOMANIZER WANNABE!"  
  
"I thought he was the 'My-Hands-Have-A-Mind-Of-Their-Own' wannabe?"  
  
"That was last week. This week he's a womanizer wannabe."  
  
"I see. So, he groped you again? Why don't you just sue him for sexual harassment?" He asked, rubbing his temples with trained patience for the daily routine.  
  
She scoffed. "And pay all that money for some tight-up lawyer? I think not!"  
  
"Then what do you plan to do to stop it?"  
  
"I'll find something, I know I will."  
  
"You ALWAYS do......." He mumbled sarcastically under his breath.  
  
She gave him a sharp glance. "Come again?"  
  
"Nothing, nothing!"  
  
"Good. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be going to kick some sorry 'My- Hands-Have-A-Mind-Of-Their-Own' wannabe's ass."  
  
"I thought he was a womanizer wannabe?"  
  
"It just changed again." snapped Sango as she stormed back out the door in rage.  
  
"I swear, if those 2 weren't so good at their jobs, they'd be gone by now." Mumbled the man, who was known as Naraku, the president of Heart to Heart Dating Company, a small Dating Service in the outer skirts of Tokyo that had 3 matchmakers in all. It WAS a pretty small company.  
  
The first, of course, was Naraku himself. Naraku had no idea why he'd gone into the dating business, truthfully. Or maybe he did, but after meeting his 2 co-workers, he was positive that he'd picked the wrong career choice.  
  
Speaking of his co-workers............  
  
Naraku had done quite a few job interviews to find some suitable, nice, matchmakers that would be helpful and kind to their clients.  
  
He also wanted them to be generally normal people who were open to new ideas.  
  
His thoughts on this: 'Well, they SEEMED normal when I first met them!'  
  
Of course, he reasoned (only to make himself feel better about his hopeless choices), that the other interviewees weren't NEARLY as bad as Sango and Miroku.  
  
One of them had a nervous tic in her eye, and always spoke with an unnaturally high-pitched voice. Not to mention she was paranoid about the color gray.  
  
Another one had some short-term memory problems, and was constantly repeating everything to make sure he remembered it.  
  
And the worst one was a double-personality man that gave him a bigger headache than Sango's daily 'Miroku Ranting Head-Ache Hour', a stupid name Naraku came up with one day when he saw a sign for 'Happy Hour' in a store window looking for a new bottle of aspirin after a particularly bad bout of Sango's yelling.  
  
So, after exhaustingly horrid interviews, Sango and Miroku had come in as the last ones, and seemed perfectly sane, so both had gotten the job and started a week later.  
  
Of course, since then, Naraku's last shreds of sanity was slowly getting smaller, while his used aspirin and headache pain-reliever bottles had quickly grown quite large.  
  
Sango actually WAS a pretty normal person. She was considerate, kind, smart, and fun to be around, not to mention a bit of a schemer. These qualities had made her a perfect matchmaker. But when Miroku Houshi was involved, Sango turned into a scary woman with a fiery temper.  
  
Why is this Miroku guy so bad, you ask?  
  
Now, Miroku was also a generally normal person. Nice, charming, clever, and quite a smooth talker most of the time. Of course, he has this 'thing' about groping women. Ya see, he's kind of a.........  
  
*slap* "PERVERT!" was heard outside of Naraku's office.  
  
Why, thank you, Sango, for summing that up so nicely for us.  
  
Now, back to Naraku's office, where he is currently wondering if there's some way he can get out of coming to work tomorrow.  
  
*ring* He jumped slightly at the sound of the phone ringing next to him, put quickly reached over and picked it up. "Hello, Heart to Heart Dating Company, Naraku speaking."  
  
"Oi, Naraku." Came a strong male voice from the other line.  
  
"Uh.......Hello. Can I help you with anything?"  
  
"Yeah. This is Inuyasha Hamasaki."  
  
Naraku's face was flooded with recognition at his most.....unique customer.  
  
Inuyasha was a hanyou, a half-demon, half-human. So, naturally, it'd been hard to find someone because, even though he was a great person...........sorta..........he wasn't particularly accepted by society.  
  
Inuyasha had long, naturally silver-white hair and almost always wore a hat. When Naraku had first met him, Miroku had come in and swiped the hat of Inuyasha's head, just joking around.  
  
But what had been revealed when Miroku took the hat off were 2 fuzzy dog ears the same color as his hair.  
  
Inuyasha had instantly grabbed the hat and quickly explained he was a hanyou, so he'd like somebody who was very excepting.  
  
They had just shrugged and accepted the fact that he wasn't normal. Sango also found his 'adorable little doggy ears' very appealing.  
  
Miroku had blabbed that Inuyasha was a hanyou with dog ears, and she immediately wanted to see them, so Inuyasha grudgingly let her see them.  
  
And oh, boy, had she had fun with his cute little ears that swiveled when she poked them. She had giggled insanely for about 10 minutes, until Inuyasha finally decided that enough was enough and pushed his hat back down on his head.  
  
"Hello again, Inuyasha. How can I help you?"  
  
"Uh, ya know that Kikyo chick you set me up with?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Well, it ain't workin' out too well. Can you find me someone else?"  
  
"What's the problem exactly?"  
  
"Well, she kinda acts like, I dunno, perhaps a clay pot with no emotion?"  
  
"Er......we'll find you someone else."  
  
"Thanks. Kikyo seemed okay at first, but things just went downhill from there. No common interests."  
  
"None?"  
  
"We fought a lot over what kind of music to listen to in the car. She wanted classical, sad poetic-sounding music, and I wanted rock."  
  
"Uh-huh."  
  
"And she always talked about the newest jewelry fashion, she collects rocks and stuff. Then she'd go on and on about these kids she worked with at the hospital where she volunteers."  
  
"I see."  
  
"Now, I think it's really great that she's volunteering her time and services to those in need, I really do, but when she starts telling you about what a pregnant woman told her about the specifics of birthing babies, wouldn't you wanna scream and run away too?"  
  
"Is that what you did?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Scream and run away, is that what you did?"  
  
"No, but it was tempting. Our food came, and she finally shut up."  
  
"Anything else particularly bad?"  
  
"Well, if she wasn't talking about jewelry or hospital stuff, she just wasn't talking at all."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Yeah, so, can you set me up with someone else?"  
  
"I take it you already broke it off with Kikyo?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. She just shrugged and said that was fine. We weren't very compatible."  
  
"She said that?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"And you agreed?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Alright, come by tomorrow, and one of us will have a sufficient match for you. Anything in particular that you want?"  
  
"They have to like rock music, at least tolerant about sports and action movies, and accepting. Like, she has to accept all races, religions, that kind of thing."  
  
"Alright." Said Naraku, as he quickly jotted down Inuyasha's 'strict requirements'. "Anything else?"  
  
"No, I don't think so."  
  
"Alright. When do you want me to come by tomorrow?"  
  
"How about 4:30-ish?"  
  
"Kay. Bye." And he hung up.  
  
Naraku shook his head and then checked the small clock on the wall. It was almost 6. 'That means it's almost time for me to go home and get away from these psychos!' he thought, nearly giddy at the thought.  
  
He walked to the door to see Sango and Miroku, not surprisingly, arguing.  
  
"I am NOT a pervert! I just appreciate women's bodies!"  
  
"Ha! What's your definition of appreciate?"  
  
Miroku was about to retort when Naraku decided to interrupt their fascinating conversation.  
  
They both turned to look at him. "You've got an assignment to work on as of now."  
  
Miroku looked confused at this. "We do? I thought we were done for the day."  
  
"Well, remember Inuyasha?"  
  
Sango squealed in delight at the remembrance of Inuyasha's fuzzy ears.  
  
Naraku simply shook his head, wondering how it was possible for women to have such quick mood swings. "Well, apparently, Kikyo, the girl we set him up with last time, didn't work out. No compatibility. So, I am officially making it your responsibility to find somebody new for him by 4:30 tomorrow."  
  
"Anything in particular he's looking for?" asked Miroku.  
  
Naraku glanced over his notes and nodded. "Yea, he said they have to like rock music, be at least tolerant about sports and action movies, and accepting. She also has to accept all races, religions, etc."  
  
Sango looked thoughtful for a moment, then smiled. "I think I know someone who fits that criteria."  
  
Both of the other men looked at her curiously before Naraku finally spoke up. "And who exactly is this mystery girl?"  
  
Sango smiled brightly, looking extremely excited. "Well, she's a friend of mine from school. She's really nice, very accepting, and she loves any kind of music, and she loves any kind of movie. Except for porn. She doesn't like porn."  
  
Miroku gaped in shock. "She doesn't like porn?!"  
  
Sango smacked the back of his head. "Stupid. You're the only one here who likes porn, unless there's something Naraku isn't telling us."  
  
Naraku quickly shook his head to clarify that he didn't like porn either.  
  
Sango seemed satisfied with that and gave them a happy smile. "She probably won't mind at all! She's been looking for a new boyfriend for a while, and I told her I'd tell her if I found someone she'd go good with."  
  
"Gotcha. Oh, how old is she?"  
  
Sango laughed. "Don't worry, she's 15, but she'll be 16 soon."  
  
"That's good. Inuyasha's 16."  
  
"All right. Well, I'm gonna head home, see ya tomorrow!"  
  
The 2 men gave weak waves as she walked out the door.  
  
"Have you met this friend of hers, Miroku?"  
  
"No. I've heard about her though. But when I asked if I could meet her, Sango told me that she refused to introduce me to any of her female friends. She wouldn't tell me why though."  
  
"Why did I even ask?" mumbled Naraku.  
  
Miroku looked up at Naraku. "What?"  
  
"Nothing. You've never been to Sango's school, have you?"  
  
Miroku shook his head. "Nope. Ya gotta remember, I'm 2 years older."  
  
"Right. Shouldn't you be in college then?" Naraku asked hopefully.  
  
"Yeah. But I decided to take a year off, maybe more, and enter college next fall."  
  
'A whole year. Well, after that, he'll finally be gone, and that means Sango won't get mad anymore, and my stress will just go downhill!' Naraku thought cheerfully.  
  
"But don't worry, Naraku, I'll make sure it's a local college and I'll still come and work here as much as I can! I've grown to like this job!" Miroku said happily, clapping a hand on Naraku's shoulder.  
  
Naraku nearly choked. "That's great." He squeaked.  
  
"You alright?"  
  
"Uh, yeah, I'm fine. I'm gonna head home and have a nice, looong sleep."  
  
"I'll go ahead and lock up behind you."  
  
"Thanks." He muttered as he stumbled out to his car.  
  
Miroku watched until Naraku had finally driven away, then shook his head. "Dude's got issues."  
  
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. The End  
  
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Well, I hope people liked the first chapter of this! And if you feel particularly kind and generous, please leave me a review! Flames, suggestions, praise, criticisms, anything is appreciated and welcome! Even if it's just to say 'update' or to let me know that your reading it.  
  
Have a nice day, or night, for the people who stay up late, and I'm sure there's some of em' out there! ^.~ 


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